Monday, 20 July 2009

Eclipse


First thing's first. FEATURE! Ana's Girl has a seriously unique take on a pro ana blog. She's written it in prose form instead of the usual journal idea, and it's so interesting to read. A really powerful expression of how she sees the world. Check it out for me, comment to let us know what you think and give her some support!

I had a really shit day today. Loads of arguments with parents and stress with a friend. I was so down in the morning I couldn't get out of bed for ages. So that turned into a bit of a binge day, about 800 cals. Not really bothered honestly, my body doesn't seem to care what I eat atm and I've got bigger problems to worry about, which I won't talk about cos I don't want to depress myself haha

So how do we cope? Alcohol. Not really lol. I submerge myself in a book and let those ideas replace all the stress I have. Currently working myself through Eclipse. I'll end up reading til about 4am this morning... Everyone here seems to be Team Edward. Fair enough, he's the obvious choice BUTTT... Jacob really cares about Bella, he's got fucking sexy in New Moon and his ATTITUDE! Jesus, it's like "you want me, we both know it" and there's something seriously hot about that confidence. I want to see that movie and I want to see it now. Haha.

Who am I kidding? Edward all the way. I'm back at the stage where I'm reading and going WHY ISN'T THIS REAL? hahah

I also can't believe there's never going to be a new Harry Potter book. Hmph. Anyone know any other good series? Read His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman if you haven't yet, it's brilliant and much better than that shitty movie they made of the first one.

I'm lacking in thinspiration. 21lbs in and I'm sort of just losing motivation. I haven't seen the results I want yet and with other stresses mounting up I just want to be weak and take comfort in nice food. It's something I relied on slightly during all the stress on study leave before my A Levels. Just a little system of treats to keep me going through it. I'm not sure what to replace that with now. Books and movies I suppose. I can't rely on the comfort of friends as far as this is concerned because I know I'll only be called selfish/arrogant/self interested or they'll warn me about becoming anorexic and make me eat or feel guilty about it. More guilt is NOT what I need.

So yeah, photos of me were requested so photos of me are here... will be taken down soonish so look quickly and then go get something soothing to heal your eyes with:

... (photos removed) ...

These were all taken before the weight loss... I'll post new ones when I feel i've achieved enough.

25 comments:

  1. I'm sorry about your day :(
    But wow, good job on 21 pounds lost! By the way, you look a bit like Elijah Wood in the middle and right pictures, haha. And you certainly look like you've thinned down.
    Stay strong <3

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  2. heya. this is the Thinner writer. i was in spain. don't leave shit unattended in barcelona. ever. drink loads and loads of water, like one of those big bottles every day. eat salad if you must. make friends go to tapas restaurants so portions aren't so terrifying. don't lose your passport.

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  3. you could try lord of the rings? i've never read them but if your into like fantasy books maybe give them a try?

    so i hope this doesn't make you uncomfortable but i think you are so cute! and i love hello kitty too! do ladies have any chance with you or are you strictly a man's man? ;)

    hope tomorrow is a better day.

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  4. I loveee his dark materials. Have not read them for years though.
    I also really liked the obernewtyn series by Isobel Carmody. But I also read those ages ago, and re read the first one recently and it wasn't as good as I remembered. But I think it was her first book so her writing gets better throughout the series.
    Wow I love his dark materials I really have to re read them.

    I hate stress. That first photo of you looks really cool :)

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  5. your welcome :]
    wow 18 months! thats great i'm really happy for you (and maybe a little jealous..why can't i keep a guy for that long??) and i love your open mind.

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  6. Your really cute! It's so cool to have guys in this community. Don't worry- we all have bad days. Just a thought- 800 calories is probably a LOT less than the amount of calories you should be having in a day. If you think about it, you actually did really good today since you had less calories than your body actually burns by itself. Good luck with everything. 21 pounds is amazing! Don't lose motivation- you can keep going, I know it! I am doing awful right now, so I guess I'm not much of a motivation, but I wish you the best. If you ever need support, I'm here!

    With love,

    Lola <3

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  7. Aww! Thanks soo much for saying all those nice things about my blog. I've got 4 followers now, so i'm really excited about that. You are such a great friend, and i don't even know you that well. lol.

    Don't worry; we all have days that are tough to get through. You can do it; i know you can!

    And OMG PICTURES!! Lol. You're a cutie.

    As far as good book series go, i reccommend The Inheritance Trilogy (which has turned into four books instead, still waiting for the 4th) or the trilogy that starts with Inkheart (not sure the name of the trilogy) but these are both fantasy, which is what you seem to like and really really good. Hope you like them.

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  8. You have the most adorably enchanting eyes, just gorgeous.
    Ahhh i needed a new book, might go buy His Dark Materials tomorrow :)
    Sorry you had a terrible day, just have a good night sleep, wake up refreshed and hopefully the arguements will have stopped.
    You say you need motivation? 21 lbs seems like pretty damn good motivation to keep going to me! lol.. just think about uni, you're going to be constantly put into social situations, everyone staring, thin people everywhere.. motivating enough?? now stop reading this comment and go for a run or something! haha im making myself want to move.
    Also, thank you so much for all your beautiful comments lately!
    Xxxx

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  9. Awe you're pictures are so cute! : D I can't believe you haven't posted any before! You need to post some new ones so we can see what you look like now!
    And I love Hello Kitty so the third one made me super happy <3
    Ok, the other picture you have up of the model is absolutely racy ; D Haha!
    Don't lose motivation! You've come so far! Seriously, I've read all your posts from the beginning and you seem to be developing such a wonderful attitude.
    Ok, I might just be a nerd but I love Lord of the Rings series : / Which is probably lame and sad.....
    I'm sorry today was a hard day : ( Tomorrow will be better and 800 really isn't that bad. Just go for a brisk hour long walk and you'll burn the extra calories off.
    Stay strong <3

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  10. Haha I meant racy in a good way ; )

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  11. I know everyone's said this, but you're ADORABLE!
    And I'm sure you'll regain your motivation in due time. You're dealing with tons of other things right now, and when things get more worked out you may find yourself more motivated than ever! Good luck. : )

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  12. Hey.. i'm sorry things are going badly at the moment. you inspire so many people, i wish you'd be inspired by yourself! anyway, i agree.. we have a hottie in our midst! i love the first photo! much love, x

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  13. WOW! You're adorable! ;D
    You are positively adorable!

    & i don't mind Jacob, he can be annoying at times though. Edward is cool. (:

    Another good series.... The Lemony Snicket series are reealy good, confusing but great. I have the seriess. (: (Bookworm. ;D) & umm, Tomorrow when the war began series by John Marseden, They're fantastic! or you might like to read a book called on the jellicoe rd, by melina Marchetta. my favorite book ever & it's ace.

    I'm now rambling. Don't lose your inspiration either! Just be careful not to get scary thin.
    You look pretty good from your picturess.

    Good luck!
    Yasmine. xx

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  14. OH! His Dark materials, (The Golden Compass) are an excellent series as well!
    Also, Jewel & Thorn series.

    Haha, i love to read.

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  15. I really hope you feel better today babes!
    Loving the pictures, the top 2 looks proper like.. artsy.
    Here's some vague motivation:
    21 pounds is an uneven number, so saying oh I've lost 21 pounds is nowhere near as satisfying as a nice whole number like 30.
    Just think of when you'll be able to compare pictures and be like, I really don't recognise myself!
    Though 800 calories is still a starvation diet (900 cals) so it's really not bad! Especially considering shit going on.
    As to books, you could try the Wind on Fire trilogy by William Nicholson. It's a little bit like the Dark Materials. Or there's a trilogy by Lian Hearn, it starts with Across the Nightingale Floor, and that's quite good.
    x

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  16. awww those pics of you are totally cute

    mmmm if you feel like you haven't seen results it is because the more you lose the bigger you start looking to yourself, because as you are losing weight you're getting deeper into the mindset and that changes what you see in the mirror - you have to trust the scales and the tape measure.

    I'm 10st after being at home and eating to show people i was fine, I feel HUGE but oddly enough I felt just as HUGE when I was 8st and fasting to get to 7st 7.

    Plus I have a friend who is 6st and feels fat.

    so what I'm saying is, at least for me, I always feel fat, but at least when I'm losing I know I am trying to be happy, trying to make it better.

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  17. Edward **aahhhh**
    why isn't he real? :(
    nothing in life will ever be good enough now after twilight!
    oommgg...sexynessss!
    omg, have yu seen the trailer for newmoon.. is jacob hawtttt or what..whoooo!
    omggg!!!
    :P

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  18. I like your pictures also :)

    I'm sorry your day wasn't all that good :(

    It's not a series, but I can totally recomment "Neverwhere" by Neil Gaiman. My favourite book :) I also like the Eragon series by Christopher Paolini, but I somehow grew out of it I think. And the movie they made out of it was a complete disaster.

    :)

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  19. Totally forgot:
    ... und wenn es sein muss, kämpfe ich bis zum Schluss...
    haha you got that from a song? a few months ago there was a popular song "Bis zum Schluss" by "Silbermond"... you know it by any chance? ;)

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  20. i knoow, jacob (taylor lautner) is so dreamy! i want to marry him, staright after i marry edward ofcous! :P lol
    omg yeah, they had better find a way to get edward in most of the movie, otherwise they'll be hearing from the team edward fans including me, ahaha
    x

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  21. Have you ever tried H.P. Lovecraft? His work is a much better read than Twilight, I must say. But perhaps a little too dark or fantastic for your tastes, I'm not sure.

    Oh, hello, I'll be following you now (what a PRIVILEGE for you! to be followed by SkinnyBitch!)

    I've been looking for a male on here. Not in the "looking for" way, but you know.

    -Celia/Kassandra (MPD)

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  22. Bahahahaha you are so adorable. :D

    The only picture I have ever posted, is my profile pic. And that will be all for now. Lol.

    I find self-improvement is always rewarding. New hair. Clean nails. Paint nails. New makeup. Anything for improvement. But you're a boy, idk. Manicure? :D

    I find it kinda nice to reward yourself with stuff you want. Like a new season of your favorite show.. :D

    find that motivation again! <3

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  23. Thanks for all the comments and support. Honestly, you're one of the greatest inspirations to me. About the ABC, its the fact that so few people can do it that makes me want to do it, if that makes any sense. Its like i need to prove to myself (and Ana) that i'm strong enough to do anything. There's gotta be some people out there that were able to do it, and i want to be one of them. Your encouragement is certainly a help :)

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  24. Jan Siegel wrote a fantastic trilogy, a sort of fantasy series. Love the blog!

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