1 month in and I've finally decided to stop just reading and start contributing. I weigh a lot more than most of the people I've seen blogging on here but I've made a decision to lose weight and I'm just as determined as anyone else to achieve my goal.
I'm certainly nowhere near ana. I don't think it's even possible right now with the amount my mother's watching what I eat. She's a complete hypocrite making me eat anyway as she is tiny herself and barely eats a thing, but that's off topic. She just made a huge plate of sandwiches which I currently have sitting in front of me, so she just made the decision for what I'm having today. 1/4 of a sandwich (the rest will be thrown out when she's not looking) and 1 small apple before bed.
I'm pretty content with my progress so far. I've been exercising from 1 to 3 hours per day, and taking in less than 500 calories on most, occasionally going over due to weakness or social occasions but always exercising to compensate. Due to this I've been losing 1lb every 2 days which is respectable I think. So far I've lost 17lbs. I should be proud of the weight loss but I know it's not enough so I won't be posting my stats yet.
My goals are focused on two events this summer. I'm going to a music festival in a week's time and I really want to look better in the photos than I did last year. Those things are full of skinny girls in little dresses and skinny boys looking amazing. At the end of the month also I'm going on holiday and yeah... the thought of what I'm going to look like over there is driving me to cut the snacks and behave myself.
Oh and the blog name. Poker Face - symbolises to me just how much I need to hide this. I'm dying to tell someone "I've lost over a stone!" but I know as soon as I do that I'll have people watching what I eat. In my group of friends, two have been diagnosed as anorexic so everyone knows what to look out for. I've seen how ill they've been in the past (although both are healthy and MUCH more happy now they're thin) so I hope I'm aware of when to stop.
I'll stop this now and maybe blog again later. If anyone reads this please comment and let me know you're out there. all the best xx