Friday, 17 July 2009

Ho Hum

Today seems a bit of a slow day. I've a double 18th party I'm meant to be going to tonight but I'm not sure I will. Firstly I won't be able to fast, as it's in a really fancy Chinese restaurant (where would you start with the calories there?) and the cinema after. The cinema so far seems to be my greatest weakness...

So last night was really good. Harry Potter 6 is the best one yet. Draco's acting was divine (the crying scene in the toilets? awwww...), Harry was absolutely hilarious (Felix Felicis didn't make him drunk in my imagination...), the ending was really moving, and it packed in so much from the books. I know they can't stick religiously to the text but considering the time they had I think they did a kick ass job. Does anyone else LOVE the Ron and Hermione pairing? Aw I'm so excited about it. I might go read some fan fiction now! Aw it's so good! What other pairings do you think should happen? I can't give up on Draco/Harry yet... especially as Draco got so hot in the 6th film. ): haha

As far as food goes I did as expected. Nuts, Diet Coke and a bit of ice cream. No damage on the scales (I checked this morning). Seeing the fat friend made me feel that I deserved a bit of food and it felt good eating it knowing I'm so much lighter than she is. I swear, she must be a size 24 now. This would be nasty saying this but I know she won't read it and I need to get it out (forgive me?)... I was a size 18 equivalent at my highest (shameful, I know) but I realised eventually that I needed to take action and I did. I don't know how she does it.

Ok so, I couldn't be arsed with the chinese tonight. I'm still sick from the festival and I shouldn't be risking spreading it around, especially as the 18 year old to be is pregnant. Surely it's not a good idea to get her sick? (She's in a loving relationship and is getting married this year or next by the way, she's not some teenage tramp that sleeps around... haha)

How is everyone getting on with their fasts/restriction? sorry_i_cant_be_perfect apologised for writing me a long comment - don't! I love getting comments and the more there is to read the better! It really gives me a nice start to my day to get your input so feel free, even if you're saying something someone else has already said. Just go for it! Thanks for all the congrats about Cambridge from Soren, xthinforever, Dot, Nic and Yasmine. I love those names! Soren seems really majestical, Nic is the name of one of my best friends, Dot is just so cute and simple but memorable and comforting (seems like the name of a strong person) and Yasmine makes me think of the princess in Aladdin. That was my favourite movie as a kid. Check out each other's blogs! Have a look at TinyPerfection if you can too. She's just starting off and has 4 followers. We all know what it's like to feel that no one's listening... so let's help each other out.

I've had my 90 cals to kickstart my metabolism so I'm ready to go for the day. Really no interest in food at all. I can still feel that junk in me from yesterday and it's making me feel a bit queasy. Definitely not in the mood for food anyway. Might do a bit of exercise. I like doing about 1 hour of aerobics/jogging whilst lifting weights, concentrating on the number of reps rather than using heavy weights, as I want to give myself a workout and burn cals rather than build muscle.

I've not much other option as far as exercise is concerned. I can't afford a gym and if I go for a run EVERYONE will know. It's a wee neighbourhood and they all love to gossip. Especially as a lot of my family live in this area. A lot = all. None of them moved more than 1 mile from the house they grew up in. I don't get it. I want to travel and see new things and meet new people and learn from the world but they're happy staying here doing the same thing every day? A lot of them are very prejudiced and narrow minded. I'm not religious personally, but I'll save that debate for another time, but they take it so seriously and judge everyone the bible judges. In their eyes women are the second sex, gay people are disgusting sinners and even alcohol is the work of the devil. It disgusts me. Women should be honoured and respected for what they have to go through every fucking month just to keep this population going, not made to act as servants chained to the kitchen for men... ugh. I can't wait to leave.

I'm going to go search for some good fanfiction now ( if you've not read before, I hope you get hooked haha) and then maybe start to read my book which just arrived in the post (I Amazon) and get into some learning later. Just in the mood for it :) Thinking happy <3


  1. I really agree that the 6th Harry Potter film is the best so far! I can't wait till the stores get it in. And Draco was sooo cute in this film, not as mean as he has been in the other movies.
    I understand your problem with running in the neighbourhood. I live in a small town and when you are running here, all the people who drives by are starring like..., like I was a really mad person. Argh, it's so annoying. But I'm lucky since we have a lot of wood here, and I love to run in the wood. It's so peaceful!
    Good luck with your fast!

  2. yeah I can't run, I hate the feeling that people are looking at me like god what a fat bitch she must eat loads and watching me wobble everywhere....exercise is fine, but degrading if you're not comfortable with your supposedly healthy body (my bmi is 22 ish - yuk!)

    you're doing so well!!


    i'm loving ana at the mo, we're on good terms instead of arguing.

  3. Hi :) your posts always seem so positive and you're so good at finding something cool in everybody. rock on :) ug, me and running just doesn't work, my knees are so screwed up and yeah, the whole public jiggle thing :)

  4. i used to love running until i got fat. im tall 5' 7" and 140 lbs.. and i always used to weigh like 120. i cant take it anymore. when you run its putting three-four times the amount of pressure on your shins and stuff than normal walking. i wanna get skinny.

    im just in a bad mood today
    and you being all positive kinda made me feel a little better. :D

    but i am soo soo tired.

  5. thanks babyboy,
    that really helped me out. im mixed episode so im kind of in a rapid cycle. it gets pretty exhausting. i could be super extremely depressed for the next 5 hours and then click, im level. idk, i just hate when i switch from like super manic to level because its like im dazed.. my mind still goes fast but i dont.

    youre right. we need to think happy :)
    and im glad that the medicine may put on some initial weight but it wont just keep climbing.. that makes me feel a lot better. what are you on may i ask?
    lithium is old school but i cant afford anything else. and how long did it take you before you felt a little better and started exercising awesome? and how much initial weight gain we talking here? :D lots of questions thanks!

  6. Oh yeah, Draco + Harry? *drooool* and Draco has got really HAWT (and didn't you just love his suit?). I agree that the movie was really good and a lot more effort the young actors had to put in, miss watson crying, mister felton crying etc.

    I didn't know there were still so religious nuts in Ireland, I thought you were all so cool and smooth. And believe me I know what you're talking about when you say your whole family lives there, half of my family lives on the same block! (I also live in a small town and it's really annoying when you go out jogging knowing that probably everyone who sees you knows who you are :/

  7. Draco did get so hot in this film! and the crying in the bathroom scene was AMAZING.
    Awe, you are so sweet with what you said about my name <3 I love your name because pokerface is my favorite Lady Gaga song! It seems like a very strong name too ; )

  8. I can think of QUITE a few good Harry Potter pairings, but they all involve ME becoming a character. ; )

    And oh goodness, the whole movie I was just imagining a boy exactly like Draco (suit and all) transferring to my school and us falling in love and me saving him from all his emotional problems... haha.

    Anyway, I sort of know how you feel about running. I don't have family in my neighborhood, but I would just feel like... really weird having everyone see me doing it, you know? And I know hardly anyone would see, but for some reason it's always so annoying/embarassing when someone's like "Wow, it's great that you're exercising!" I don't want to risk it! Haha. The only thing I do out is ride my bike, and I'm a loser for this, but I always dress up a little bit. : ) Hahaha.

    I'm glad your night at the movies didn't cause any damage on the scales! Haha I love the way you put that.

  9. Wow excellent post!! I am so proud of you seriously. I love seeing people take control of their lives and realize they can't let themselves just eat themselves to death. You are doing so great please keep up the good work

    And I also agree with you on the travling bit. I plan to travel for a living thats how much I like it. Currently studying international business. I feel its so important for people to leave home and see the world. You have so much ambition you're amazing =)