Tuesday, 14 July 2009

I'm A Failure

I just ate. My parents made me. I feel so sick. This close to throwing it all up.

EDIT: Fuck it. I'm exercising. 3 hours straight. Fuck. It. I'm going to be thin. I'm going to be incredibly, unbelievably, shockingly thin. Fuck them all.

2nd EDIT: Exercise started. 30 mins in (I'm off to get a drink before starting in again) and I feel empowered. Taking my life into my own hands again. It feels fucking great. Harry Potter audiobook is keeping me going too.

3rd EDIT: Just measured my waist and hips. I've lost 1" off each from the last time I measured, so even though my weight hasn't changed, the loss has shown on my body - YAY! but... fuck D: mum just woke up and caught me exercising. I swear I can't do a THING without being caught. Funny though how she still hasn't worked out that the "friend" who I'm constantly with, or constantly txting if he's not here, is my boyfriend... selective vision that woman has. Back to exercise. Thinking thin. xx


  1. Don't take it too hard on yourself, go for a walk in the evening, or something more extreme. Just don't think it's all over. Just say stop.

  2. :' ( I'm sorry hun <3 It must be so hard trying to do this with your parents watching you...I'm sure you'll burn it all off with your workout! Don't give up!
    Good luck and stay strong <3

  3. Hey hey. Breathe.
    A meal doesn't make you a failure.
    Hell, if anything it just jump started your metabolism for the fast that you will be able to complete.

    Stop. Plan. Start again.
    A plan, routine, is all you need.
    We can do this.
    I'm starting my fast on Friday.
    Gimmie a shout if you ever need some support, motivation, a shoulder. Anything.

  4. Work out hard! Show them all. Good luck! And remember, not all is lost, you'll always make up for it.

  5. Thanks for your comment. : ) Good things will come for all of us in time.

  6. Sorry about that don't beat yourself up. A good plan is a proactive plan. Try going up to your parents and saying hey I've decided to eat healthier from now on. So that way you have an excuse to not eat some types of food and if they force you to eat, hopefully it would be healthier for you.

  7. Nice Harry Potter ftw, gonna see it tomorrow, SO EXCITED X3

    And you'd be surprised how much a cup of skimmed milk and a couple of strawberries can surpress your appetite ;)

    Keep up the good work!

  8. Hey thanks alot for your comment!! It's pretty tough and I messed up today big time. I've been taking those One a Day women vitamins and some iron pills that my mom gave cuz I have low iron level. Neways that sucks about you're mom. but tomorrow is a new day. Good luck avoiding food tomorrow. :)

  9. Don't be to hard on yourself, just go for a walk, relax & move on.

    Hope you're okay.

    Yasmine. xx

  10. here are my fastng tips:

    diet coke can make you not lose while fasting, but coke zero is fine (its somethign complicated about the different acids in each).

    smokes help

    milk helps weight loss and is sooo filling

    hunger pains stop after 5 days, a week at most.

    breakfast: a plate with crumbs a smear of honey on by the kitchen sink "I already ahd breakfast".

    dinner: be out during the day. I used to pick up empty sandwhich boxes (like shop sandwiches)and put them in my bag and then put them in the bin at home while someone else could see

    tea: used to say i was eating in my room but tip food into an airtight plastic box, hide it, get up early next morning and go out to a public bin and tip it away.


    but now i live alone so i just fast without pretending to eat.

  11. Ah Soren, I envy you, it all seems a lot easier if you'd live alone.

    Pokerface, congratulations on the inch-loss :D

  12. and p.s.here is my favourite skinny skinny boy :)