So I managed to find my thinspiration again. I'm just home from shopping and I'm TWO SIZES SMALLER!
Aw I'm in such a good mood now, that was just what I needed to motivate me to work harder again. I'm so excited now. Got a new shirt and a tighter fitting top which are both so flattering. I'll be wearing them on holiday and I already feel much more confident about it :D I don't remember ever wearing the size I have now... it's opened up so much for me. I really love fashion (hi, i'm a stereotype, how are you?) but could never wear what I wanted to so now it seems like if I keep going I'll be able to fully express myself. Expression is so important to me. I hate when I don't have the words for something. Now I'll be able to do it through my clothes as well.
Well not "now", but in 15lbs or so. ^_^
Tonight I'm staying under 500 cals. It works for me without making me miserable. Any less and I tend to get really bad headaches which just aren't worth it for me. I want to see Harry Potter again, damn it. The guy in today's thinspo has the body I want when I've reached my goal weight. I will get there, I'm absolutely determined now. I'm about to have what could turn into a massive argument with a friend so I'll get that over with then do some exercise to calm me down. Lucks. xx
PS. Thanks to everyone who gave a book recommendation! I'll be Wikiing and Amazoning soon! :) and of course I've read Lord of the Rings! Amazing series. Merry and Pip are adorable. Like Fred and George. We all love a good bit of twinning. SkinnyBitch needs to stop doubting how hardcore I am with my reading haha. I'd recommend you read The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova btw. It's lovely and creepy and incredibly well written. And about vampires. Haha
Soren had a good point about me not noticing my weight loss. The longer I'm doing this, the more I'm going to be looking in the mirror, criticising how I look, so my standards are going to get higher and higher and I won't appreciate my body changing. I'm going to pay close attention to my measurements and the size of clothing I'm fitting into as a way of rewarding myself and feeling achievement for what I'm doing.
xthinforever had a lovely idea about treating myself and I hope everyone's paying attention. If you're working hard you deserve a reward! Not necessarily food (if you're afraid you're going to binge) but something small and sweet like a manicure, some new jewellery, new hair, new make up. For me my treat was the clothes today, and I do feel great after it. Make sure you're all looking after yourselves. Thinking happy. xx
EDIT: I got my first thin compliment!! "You look so slim!" - when I put on my new top that is actually the right size for me! EEE! Aw happy now...
2nd EDIT: I'm exercising and it feels fucking fantastic. I'm so motivated now. I can see that it's going to take effort to get as skinny as my thinspo today and I'm looking forward to it. It wouldn't be a worthwhile achievement if I didn't have to work for it. (40 mins of jogging with weights done so far)