Sunday, 19 July 2009

Thoughts


1. I really love the Twilight series. I'm going to start reading one of them again tonight as I'll have less time for recreational reading when I'm at uni so should make use of my spare time now. I'm not sure which one yet though. I don't really want to read the first again because I like when the books get more complicated and I love the Jacob element of the story. I think I'll read Eclipse cos of all the sexual tension with Jacob and Bella. I love that bit. Then maybe Breaking Dawn again. I wonder how they're going to make that into a film without upsetting the 12 year old fangirls. Are we Team Edward or Team Jacob amongst my followers?

2. University? It's going to be crazy. Away from my family and further from my best friends than I would like. I'm going to be relying on facebook and a hell of a lot of phone calls so I won't miss them too much. They really are great. Anyway, as far as the food aspect goes I hope I learn self control at uni. Meals at my uni seem well balanced. Any times I've eaten there before there have been lots of vegetables and no processed food, so my taste buds will have to adapt but it will be a healthy development. I'll also ALWAYS be eating in front of other people so I won't be able to pig out, which is a really good thing. As long as I don't allow myself to have snacks in my room I'll be fine. Plus, walking to lectures and being too busy to eat out of boredom, which is something that used to happen me a lot. That and the need to keep trim for formal dinners and parties and generally wanting to look good in a more pressurised social setting should help. There's so little pressure here as I'm in the country and usually just surrounded by family members...

3. Weight loss. I've lost 21lbs so far (shall weigh again in the morning and see if that has changed) but I don't feel any different. Well, I can notice a slight change in my shape but not enough. I want it to come off, now. I want to look great, now. I've been told a few times recently "you look great" but not "you look thinner" which is what I want. Desperately want someone to mention, even in passing, that I've lost weight. My mum hasn't noticed a thing as far as I know and she LIVES with me... I've no idea where the weight is coming off. I wish I could SEE it. Maybe it's going to take ANOTHER 21lbs before anyone notices... If that's the case then fuck it, 42lbs here I come. haha

4. Followers. Thank you all for the comments on my last post! They kept me going throughout the day so I'm really grateful :) wanted to mention Marc as a fellow male blogger who could do with a little more attention! Also, heebeejebus and I have discovered a shared love of Lily Cole as thinspo. She looks absolutely amazing. Importantly also, she goes to the uni I'm hoping to go to in October... so that's the kind of people I'll be surrounded by :| definite thinspo there haha.


Hope everyone's doing well then. Give me a comment to let me know :) I'm having a shopping trip in the city on Monday. I'm hoping I might be able to try a size lower than usual this time. That would be such a confidence booster. Also need to get a few things for holidays. I don't actually own a pair of shorts... that's how bad I am about covering up my body haha. All to change soon! :) Thinking happy. xx

21 comments:

  1. when i started reading this i was like 'im gonna post a comment telling him to read eclipse because its my favourite' and then i read on, and realised you'd already picked that one, good choice :) lol
    team edward! btw.

    as for your mum not notcicing, she probably wont for a while, she sees you everyday and so shes not going to be seeing dramatic change. for a confidence boost, go meet up with a friend you havent seen in a while - trust me, they'll notice

    ohh uni is going to be fantastic, i hope i get to start my uni experience as well next year, cant wait.

    Xxx

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  2. I've never liked Twilight! I've tried to read it but I just can't get into vampire stuff.

    I know how it is about wanting people to notice more, and not noticing yourself.
    The reason you're not noticing though may be because your weight is coming off really evenly... like think about if you lost 21 lbs in your left arm you would notice a huuuge difference... but over your whole body you may not. That's a bad example, but you know what I mean. Haha.

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  3. Sounds like you have the same problem with your family noticing as I do
    : / Maybe she's just worried about you losing weight so fast and doesn't want to say anything because she doesn't want to encourage the rapid loss....or maybe she's afraid you'll get offended? Or Sarah could be right and she just sees you every day....but 21 lbs is bound to show a difference! You should post some before and after pics and we can tell you! I'm sure it is noticeable.
    I'm sure you'll be so busy at school you'll forget to eat : D Also it's completely possible to change your tastes. For example, I used to be a cheese freak and now I hardly eat it at all. Same with peanut butter. I just have trained myself to not like them.
    Stay strong <3

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  4. Hehe oh how obsessed with twilight I used to be.
    I'm not sure if I'm team Edward or Jacob.. hmm.. I must ponder this further.
    Yeah and I vote for before and after pics ^^ woo.

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  5. I've not actually read the Twilight books, so I guess I'm not really in a position to judge... but how can you be team Jacob when Edward looks like that?! Robert Pattinson is just yum.
    Anyway, even though it's frustrating, it's probably better if she doesn't notice. Because she'll start keeping an eye on your eating (or not as the case may be) if she does notice how fast you're losing, and that's a BIG hindrance.
    Just don't get frustrated and binge because you think you're not losing k? You're seriously doing so well x

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  6. I love your blog lol, I feel like I say that all the time. You are doing great keep it up. Ever think about doing before shots so you could see the weight loss for yourself?

    Keep up the great work =)

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  7. You can be Team Jacob because he's really sweet. Looks after Bella SO much and he has such a sexy attitude too. His confidence particularly. Also Jacob's buffed up a bit since the first film. Google Taylor Lautner with a trigger word like muscles and you'll see what I mean...

    I'll post the photo I took after Oxegen tonight. Eep.

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  8. Hey :) so totally random comment... i just realised my dental floss is made in ireland, and guess who that made me think of :) hope you're having/had a lovely day :)

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  9. Thanks. I'm actually having a bad day. Endless arguments with my mum putting as much guilt and pressure on me as she can manage. And she's very good at it.

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  10. hey you're doing such a great job. as for you're mom not noticing I agree w/ sarah. she doesn't notice cuz she see's you everyday. Probably the same thing with you not noticing. You see yourself everyday. try looking at pictures of yourself from when you first started losing weight. then you'll probably notice it. good luck :))

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  11. The fawning teenage girl demographic will remain unchanged until we're all uniformed members of the party.

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  12. My dental floss is made in Ireland, too. As are a significant proportion of people I've met throughout my life.

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  13. Team Edward all the way! Theres just something seductive about a vampire... I'm not even sure why.

    As for no one noticing your weight loss, it's ok. At least YOU know about it, and all of us who support you know about it. Besides, when people like your mum notice, that can lead to questions you don't want to answer. Stay strong. You're doing so amazing that I'm jealous.

    Randomness here: I want to come to Ireland! Lol. It sounds lovely. More randomness, i could use some followers. I know my blog is weird as far as how its written in story form and not just like a journal, but i wanted to be different. Followers would definately help me get inspired.

    I wasn't following you when you put up pictures of yourself... can you do it again? Cos I'd love to see the boy I admire so much for his weight loss--and smarts! Congrats on the uni by the way. I'll put up some pictures of me once i lose a bit more weight.

    Sry so long... just had a lot to say. Lol. Much Love!

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  14. Aw i'm sorry to hear that! its not really fair of her to put guilt on you. i know its probably not what you wana hear, and i don't know your family situation... but as frustrating as your mum is at the moment, she's probably got a reason for it.. most of us have, although often irrational, reasons for the way we feel... and so does your mum. it doesn't change much, but yeah.. just be aware that your mum's human too... and you'll soon be free. i hope things look up for you soon. .many hugs.

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  15. yeah I know... i'm well aware that she's over mothering me because she doesn't want to let me go. I just think that as a parent I would want to let my child live their own life. Aware that it's difficult though so the arguments don't make me angry, just upset. Thanks for the reminder though.

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  16. from experience of both my brother and myself leaving home, the worst time with arguements is just before you leave. i can't imagine what its like being a parent.. but i know denial pretty well and i think denial, of you growing up, is a major problem with parents. i think they sometimes forget that the purpose of them teaching us to make good decisions etc etc etc is so that we can leave and be successful. if we stayed in their pocket for ever then their lessons would be useless.

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  17. Thank you so much for mentioning me in you post :) True, it's really encouraging to have them.

    Compared to the highest weight I've ever had I've 'only' lost about 5-6 lbs. But that was long time ago, I will set my current weight as my starting weight now and see how it'll go.

    I think Sarah is right, your mum just dosn't notice because she sees you every single day and it's not a rapid change to her. Just don't let this disturb you, I'm sure ppl will notice :)

    Oh and yeah, team Edward! :D Don't like the Jacob thing at all haha :P

    Have fun on your shopping trip and let us know if a size lower worked for you! :)

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  18. Let me know how the size lower goes!!
    I hope its amazing as you are!

    And I had a discussion with dot about why her mom doesn't notice.. like my mom told me im supposed to be a bigger girl and all that and i asked her why she says that because it hurts my feelings and all that..

    and she said she is afraid that if she acknowledges my habits, that i will think they are okay and she doesnt want me to become obsessed..

    so maybe that is it, idk.

    but i am Team Edward. <3

    And you will be going to uni with Lily Cole??????? -dies- Omg. That is.. amazing. I would die. I wouldnt even know what to say if I seen her. Wooow.

    Sounds like you're doing awesome, babyboy!
    Keep up the good work!

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