He put a stop to it by announcing my sexuality to all of my relatives. So I had to sit through a lecture from my aunt telling me what an awful person I am. How I'm a disgrace and have disappointed everyone. I should be ashamed of myself, apparently. My mum was there and didn't even defend me. "I hoped he wouldn't get into things like this." More disapproving looks, insulting comments, while I just sat there trying so hard not to cry. They even took the opportunity to have a go at my dad. Apparently I'm betraying the family by keeping in contact with him. They're Christians, and claim to be good people, yet i've never felt so attacked, so victimised, and by people who should be taking care of me. That's about 15 members of the family who are guaranteed never to look at me in the same way again, I doubt I'll hear another word from them. I'm out of the family. It's just me and my dad now, but I don't even live with him.
That's part of the reason why I'm awake at 8am and writing this. I'm staying awake all night and morning so I can sleep during the day and avoid contact with any of them. Yesterday was a bad day for eating. They treated me like such a child, wouldn't even let me order for myself. I was just so fed up and drained by the whole day that I let it go. Today will be different. I have a fruit based diet planned out for the day which should be easy to stick to, in my current mood at least. Such a "fuck my life" mood that I don't want to eat in the slightest. Sorry that I haven't kept up with blogs recently. Life has just been taking over. I'll get to them as soon as poss.
Hopefully still getting a new laptop soon so that's something to look forward to. Also, Results Day is now only 1 week away. 7 days. Excited, nervous, exhausted. Need sleep very very soon.
Thanks for all the lovely lovely comments on my last post. You're all far too kind and I appreciated every one of them :) I should point out again (as some people weren't sure last time) that the photo in this post is me. Me exhausted and about to fall asleep right there, with arms that need a serious workout. Welcomes to the new followers too. Feel free to comment even if you haven't before! How's everyone's day going? Hope you've got positive news. If you haven't, tomorrow is another day. Just keep swimming xx