Sunday, 23 August 2009

Last night, my dad woke me up at 1am, drunk.
This morning, my mum vacuumed for an hour so I wouldn't hear her crying.
Today was the anniversary of my little brother's death.
Tonight, I found out that a friend from school has died in a car crash.

I don't give a fuck anymore.


  1. oh my goodness... I really don't know what to say. You think reading a book might help?

  2. I am sorry for your losses. It is normal to experience grief, but know that in time you will care again.

  3. Awe, I know EXACTLY how you feel. Three years ago I was in a terrible car accident, the next year my dad died of cancer, this year, what remians of my family quickly falling apart. What's next?

    I guess all I can say is stay strong and never loose the urge or desire to get back up again. I know all to well what gettig knocked down over and over again feels like. But if you don't get up, what is there left to live for?

  4. My mum's best friend shot himself in our yard.
    Mum was diagnosed with ovarian cancer two months ago.
    I'm not telling you these things to make you feel even worse.
    I'm telling you because our grief is shared and understood.

    You do still care because I care. Even though I don't know you. I know I'm only another person on here, but I care♥

  5. I'm really sorry about you losses.
    I know that's probably the last thing you want to hear but it's true.
    I know what your going through, I've lost a few people too.

    Just hold your head high and take a deep breathe.
    Tragedy only makes us stronger.

  6. I am so so sorry.
    Let yourself not care & not feel for awhile, you need that. But you have to come back & feel at some point...
    It'll be hard. Life is hard.
    I'd say "stay strong" but to be honest right now I think you need to let yourself fall apart..
    Just know that somewhere in Canada, some girl you "know" from blogspot is thinking about you & sending you as much positive energy & love as humanly possible. <3

  7. Thats terrible to hear.. Just know im always here for you, whenever you need to talk, im here.
    Today is going to be hard for you, you will get through it though, just soldier on; you will care soon enough, i know its hard.
    Thinking of you <3

  8. Poker Face. Sorry to hear the news. Not sure exactly what to say mate, except for that I'm here if you need to talk. Keep the faith and hope alive.

  9. :( There's nothing to say. Your day was sadness personified and I just want you to know that you have a whole ton of support and friends who care, and I hope things look up soon because you deserve all the happiness life can offer.

    You don't have to care about today, but people care about you. We're here for you!

  10. Oh sweetie, i'm so sorry that today has been so crap for you. I don't really know what to say except i really wish i could make it all better for you. If i was there i'd give you a huuuuge hug. *long distance computer hug* Feel better, hunny. Much love.

  11. I'm so sorry. My little brother died too. I was 3 and a half, and he was only 11 days old. He'd be 17 this year, and it's weird, thinking that I should have had another little brother. :(

  12. I'm so sorry this is happening. I don't have anything to say that could make this better, but I AM here if you want to talk at all.

    Stay strong

  13. anything i say would be pointless and i have no idea how you feel. but i care about you and i'm praying for you to be comforted and strengthened. much love, as always.

  14. There's nothing that can be said to make it better. Nothing that can ever make it normal again. Just knowing that you have to keep going, because to stop would be to make everything good those people brought into your life meaningless.
    I'm sorry you're having to hurt so much, and that so much has happened.

  15. I just don't know why all the worst things happen to the nicest people... From reading your blog, what I do know is that you are a strong, amazing person, and you can get through.

    For now though, let yourself grieve, be angry, sad, not caring, anything. Give yourself time and know that we are all here thinking of you and hoping things are going to start looking up for you again!


  16. I'm sorry for your loss. Everything will look up again soon okay.

    I really do hope you're okay.

    Yasmine. xx

  17. Don't do anything bad to yourself. I don't know you, I don't know your feelings but I know that I care for you.

  18. i wish we could be nearer to you to help you

    i feel so powerless, there's nothing I can offer

    don't be afraid of the darkness, because darkness is only the room for love.


  19. Fuck. Holy bad weekend, Batman =/

    I'm so sorry, for everything. For the dad freaking you out, for the sorrow and the grief and for losing friends and family. All I can offer is hugs, understanding, and an ear if you need to talk. I'd send you my number if you wanted to talk or text or whatever but I know you don't have comment moderation on and I don't want my number out there for the world to see ^.^

    In any case, let me know if you want to talk, drop me an email if you want, I'll reply as soon as I'm able.

    I'm sorry all this shit is happening, and I wish there was something I could do to make it better. *hug* xx

  20. There's nothing I can say that will make any of this any easier, but it seems like everyone on here cares enough about you that you're allowed to stop caring for a while. We all love you and will be here for you whatever, and it will get easier, eventually xxx

  21. ((huggs))
    i wish i was there to hug you
    i send all my love

  22. It won't exactly get "better", but it does get easier. You find something to pour the ager and grief into. For me, it's exercise. You wake up, a little bit at a time.

    We're all here for you. We all understand in different ways.

  23. D:
    I dont know what to say to that.
    I'm not going to tell you things will be okay because who knows if they will. But I will say, if anyone can get through something, my bets are on you.