Oh my god. I'm SO excited. I just got an invite to a massssive fashion thing that I'm SO SO SO excited about. OMG. OMG. I HAVE to be skinny for it. HAVE TO. EEEE I'm so excited! This was JUST what I needed. Fuck snacks, fuck comfort food, fuck weakness. EVERY. CALORIE. COUNTS. I'm going to do this, I don't give a shit how much it hurts. I will be skinny and I will look fucking good for it. I guess this means I'm pro ana for two weeks. I've never, ever been that. It's always scared me but then... I do love a challenge. For the next two weeks Snacking is Sin. Skinny is God.
WOWOW It's so weird to have something else to aim for other than results day!! Now I know I HAVE to achieve. EEEEEE hhehehehehe. I want a 2000 cal deficit per day, which means at least 2 hours of exercise. I'm going to do my first hour around 9am this morning and my second at midday, instead of a meal. I'm having one meal per day. 300 cals of pasta/sauce (small portion). Then I'm loooking forward to hunger pangs in the evening. I want to test myself, push myself. Being thin is a prize, not something I'm gonna get by being lazy. I have to work. We have to suffer.
So I'm also going to see some family members I haven't seen in ages (including the cousin who recently put on about 20lbs apparently...) in their apartment at the beach so that'll be interesting. Sort of a practice for seeing my classmates on Results Day. I hope they notice!! I'm wearing my best fitting top, in white (wow - new confidence?) with my smallest pair of jeans, 2 sizes lower than when I started. They're now the only pair I have left that fit me! It's great but seriously... what the fuck am I going to wear now? lmao. Planning a bit of a day out shopping with my dad obviously...
My dad's great by the way. Little interval here haha. He's so supportive of everything I do. Really kind and generous and funny. Everyone loves him. He's always there, willing to drive 100 miles to pick me up if I've missed a bus home, always willing to take an hour out of his schedule to talk to me if I have a problem. We have such a good sense of humour together. He'll constantly make fun of me and I do the same to him. Luckily we're equally matched so it goes on all day and no one ever wins. When it matters though, he knows how to be serious. He knows when to stop and tell me that he's proud of me and that he loves me. I love him too.
Excuse me ^_^ so yeah, 300 cals at most tomorrow with the little bit of pasta to keep my mum happy. I'm now looking up some thinspiration on youtube to pull out at any point during the day in which I'm tempted to binge. I also have some thinspo photos to share with you. I'll probably end up putting them throughout this post. The guy is my main thinspo. I think he looks amazing. The worst thing is - I KNOW HIM. He lives just a short train ride from me... completely stands out in his area. It's not a very fashionable part of the country, yet he looks like THAT. All eyes on him wherever he goes. I want to be like that, this time because I'm the pretty, skinny one, not the fatty that people stare at. Yuck. THINSPO =D I really want to print some of this out. I think I could get away with it too because most of it is quite arty...
Thanks everyone for the input on the guy situation in my last post. You all seemed to come to the same conclusion which confirmed what I thought. I should get the opportunity to speak to him on the day but I just might not bother. He missed his chance and he will have to stick that. I will, however, conveniently stand close enough to him so he can fully appreciate the new me... and regret his decision. ^_^
Hehehehehe I'm in such a good mood! I'm not sleeping today. It's 4am and I'm simply too excited to go to bed. I'll be up all morning looking at thinspo and planning my outfit for the fashion thing (details to come in a later post) and perhaps kicking out some exercise =D Is anyone else having a fantastic day? Let's share some positive stories today! Your proudest moment of your weight loss, your aims and goals and rewards, new confidence, new outfits, new compliments, anything :D
PS. What are your thoughts on the new header at the top of my blog? I wasn't sure. Felt like a wee bit of colour :] I'll return to the old photo if you like. Advice, input! :D THINKING THIN AND RIDICULOUSLY HAPPY :D xx!