Girls or boys?
Pepsi or Coke?
Night or morning?
Up or down?
Winter or summer?
Scream or cry?
Wet or dry?
Lose or cheat?
Good or bad?
Sunrise or sunset?Edward or Jacob?
SKINNY or FAT?
There's no in between any more. I can't let myself keep saying "I look fine..." because that's not good enough. People don't make history for being "fine". It's perfect or nothing. I've made my decision. I'm not letting myself away with anything anymore. I always talk myself around it. Pathetic reasoning, "I've earned this", "It's only a few extra calories", "I'll do better tomorrow."
Fuck me. Fuck my weakness. Fuck my attitude. Fuck my greed. Fuck my fat thighs. Fuck my fat cheeks. Fuck my fat calves. Fuck my flabby arms. Fuck my bulging stomach. Fuck it all, I want a new body. I want people to stare. I want people to worry. I want people to be shocked but secretly want it too. I will not be normal. I will not settle for "ok" or "fine" or "average". I'm better than that. All of you girls are too.
DECISIONS. Make yours now.
Who had a successful fast? Mine wasn't bad but I gave in afterwards and ate what was given to me. Can't wait to get out of here where my parents won't be forcing food on me. 2 weeks and I'll be in uni. In Cambridge, where everyone is 99% perfect. As a fattie I'll be at the bottom of the heap. 2 weeks to lose... as much as I can. My boyfriend left for uni today. It's depressed me. From my last few posts you'll know how close we are. My best friend for the last 3 years, never gone more than 2 days without speaking. I'm lost without him. I need a focus, and it's now this.
Let's have some thinspo. I want your comments too. Show me your determination. The fasts went so much better when we all worked together. 15
comments on the last post tells me you're in this with me. The reason I've been going easy on myself has a lot to do with my thinspo. I post guys with nice clothes, and I use them to hide behind. I rely on clothes to cover up imperfections. So this weeks thinspo is nudes, or close to that. No covering it up, no hiding from the truth.
It's fat or skinny. One decision. I've made mine.