In two days time I'm going on an adventure. A few of us are leaving Dublin at 9pm and bussing, training and boating our way to Scotland. It should be HEAPS of fun so I'm super excited about it, but I know there will be tons of photos taken so I need to take this opportunity to lose as many pounds as I can. I'm thinking a 2 day fast should do the trick. I'll have something to eat before we go to keep me awake, then rely on the adrenaline to keep me going for the rest of the roadtrip! Excellent.
I've started making proper use of thinspo again. For me, real life thinspo works so much better than celebrities, because magazines are so shit at photoshopping that you know straight away you're not seeing a real person. My desktop wallpaper is now a guy from town that I really envy. Everyone has one of those, right? He's naturally skinny and spends what seems like 90% of his time out in clubs having the time of his life because he's so confident about how he looks. Even when he's not dressed well, he seems to be able to carry it off because of that confidence. I want that. So for now, every time I want to eat I'm looking at that photo, asking myself if it's worth it, and finding that the answer is almost always no. It helps to get a bit of perspective.
If anyone's joining me, let me know. Always good to know you're not alone! I'm gonna set myself markers so I know I'm doing well. Like a line on my hand for every hour I do without food. It'll be like counting down the days left in a prison cell with a tally on the wall.
What would a post of mine be like without the usual schizo turn? I just spent an hour with some family members. I've never heard so much backstabbing and bitching in one room, and I've been to a hell of a lot of gay bars, so that's a fucking achievement. My grandmother slagging off her own granddaughter for being a "fat lump". My aunt slagging off her sister for eating too much. Then I found out my dad's been lying about me. They moved house whilst I was at uni, and everyone in the new area that they've met believes I'm straight. He's dropped hints about girlfriends so there's no doubt. With people like that behind me, I wouldn't be surprised if I took some psycho fit one day and committed some exciting crime.
I promise I'll make it a good one.