Tuesday, 27 July 2010

Intervention

I think that's what it was. A lot of family members just attacked me. Not for my eating issues, which could actually be dangerous, but for my sexuality. Disgusting, unnatural, disgraceful, "I'm ashamed of you." "Look at all we've done for you, and this is how you repay us?" "How could you?" "Have you no respect?" "You need to sort out your life or get out of this house."

I don't know what to do anymore.

12 comments:

  1. I cant believe your family would be so ignorant, its truly disgusting!

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  2. Urgh, how I hate such f***ing conservative homophobes. Sorry, I don't mean to attack your family or anything.
    They're different generations, on the one hand one cannot blame them.. and thats why I didn't tell my family for a very long time.
    But on the other hand, hey, times are changing. People should move along with that.
    I'm really sorry..

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  3. WHAT the FUCK?!? Their behaviour is what was disgusting and shameful. I'm ashamed to have them classed as human.

    Get away from there as soon as you can. That is not a healthy environment to be living in. ASSHOLES!!!!!! Bigoted assholes like that really piss me off. I'm so sorry you have to live with that shit :( *Hugs*

    Want me to form a lynch mob of muscled rugby-heads and Judo guys and fly up there? That kind of shit is just not on!

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  4. ok, this is so so so fucked.
    my boyfriend has two gay brothers and their whole family took a little while to adjust, asking all those questions, being a bit confused but in the end they're all so accepting..
    i hope this happens for you, and i hope you're ok babe, dont listen to their bullshit.. this is so unfair.
    be yourself.
    dont change for anyone.
    ever.
    xx

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  5. I'm really really sorry for you...

    Be strong, August is almost there and then you'll go back to uni, right?

    xoxo

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  6. i don't see anything wrong with your sexuality. I like you just the way you are :) you can come stay with me.

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  7. My sympathy is with you, I have friends who are unable to be themselves for fear of their family reacting this way.

    It breaks my heart, I hope they learn to understand and accept you just as you are - I hope, more than anything, they are able to leave their hate behind.

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  8. It's horrible that they doesn't see you, your personality, who you are entirely right now. Anyway, it's possible that they are just in shock now but over time they will accept. I hope that will happen!

    But now they just see your... sexuality. I mean, it's just a sexuality, why does sexuality matter so much to some people? I just don't understand. Try to manage though it's hard. You're an awseome person!

    This may be very horrible and mean to say but if they really love you then they will accept you as you are. If they forbit you because of your sexuality, their love never been so strong or real. Sorry.

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  9. First of all it I want to tell you it was a brave thing to do to open up to your parents and family, you must have known that this was a possible reaction yet you decided to be honest and come out. Right before you told them, you must have felt you were at peace and had accepted your sexuality. However, when you constantly hear these comments it may is hard to still keep believing that there is nothing wrong with you. Please know, and do not forget, that you are completely normal. What your sexual preference is has absolutely nothing to do with the person that you are. Being gay is just a part of you, it is a part of your character (character of a person) or features like being creative or having blue eyes is. You were born this way, these things are in your genes and not something you can simply ‘choose’ to have. As from the comments they make I believe they do not know that it is not simply something you ‘want’ but it is the way you are born; theories about the ‘causes’ of homosexuality include both genetic factors and the influence of hormones in the womb (but you probably knew that already?). Tell them this!

    And tell them more. I am not sure if you already did try to educate them? There are many extreme stereotypes of gays and your family may is scared off by all these stories. It is important to get them realize that you are still ‘you’; that you are still the same person that you were ‘before’. Try to educate them about your sexuality in a calm, intelligent manner. If it is too hard or impossible to talk reasonably with them, print out some information and try to get them to read that or get at third person to talk to them. Often hate comes from misunderstanding. If religion is getting in the way of them accepting you, find things that point out that they should not take everything so literal (for two examples in the Bible on that, and maybe some other information that can help you or them, go here: http://www.thedailymind.com/general/how-to-accept-a-gay-friend-or-family-member).

    If after this they still cannot except you – or you have already tried all this - you may should listen to the last comment stated and ‘get out of that house’. You have the right to love whoever you want to and no one has the right to tell you to do otherwise (to love differently). No one has the right to choose your life for you. Stand up for yourself. You are a worthwhile person and you deserve to be treated as such. Stay true to yourself and decide to live your life the way you want to. I realize this is not an easy step to take; it is your family after all. But you cannot live your life to please others, no matter who they are. And try to remember: it is not easy to live with discrimination, but it is even more difficult to live a life based on a lie.

    I wish you all the best in this difficult situation.
    Take care, Stephanie.


    P.S. Sorry this is really long!

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  10. Sounds just like my family. They're not concerned about the eating disorder, which could actually cause me harm. No, they're upset because i'm living with a man without being married to him; because i've drank alcohol and smoked cigarettes and had sex--all such disgraceful things to them. Who cares about health? it's all about appearance. ugh. People who claim they care... *hugs* You're not alone in that pain, love. Not in the least.

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